But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
