do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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