I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Too much gin, very little bucket
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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