also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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