you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
