her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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