Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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