I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Randomize
