I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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