Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
