It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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