And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
