I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
