There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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