my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
This is classic penis vs brain.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Randomize
