I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
