I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Mom said you looked used
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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