Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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