She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
