my mouth tastes like poor choices
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
