Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
