is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
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