Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
