Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I need a beard to bite.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
