Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
