its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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