Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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