Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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