i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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