yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I just want nice things and good sex
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
