ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
