writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
