Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
