Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
