So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
