are you so shy because you have an std?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
