i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
