1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
