I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
