I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
this just has baby written all over it
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
