It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
40s are totally the cure
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
