11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
