she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
