I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
