that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
