He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
