i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
