I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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