I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
