apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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